Why trying to ‘be better’ is easier than being YOU - And what it’s costing you

I came across a quote the other day:

"It's so much easier to try to be better than you are than to be who you are"

It struck me deeply. Not only for my own experience and journey, but it strikes at the heart of something I see affecting so many women.

As women, we've internalized the message that we're never quite enough.

Caught in endless cycles of comparison and improvement, trying to fix what was never broken in the first place.

The seeds of this distortion show up everywhere—in our relationship to our bodies, our work, our relationships, our voices, and our impact."We've learned to value "doing" over "being," pushing aside our natural rhythms and wisdom in favour of constant productivity and performance.

In my decades of clinical work, I've witnessed how this manifests in women's bodies, hearts and lives.

The exhaustion.
The autoimmune conditions.
The hormonal chaos.
The deep soul-tiredness that no amount of sleep seems to cure.

Much of the midlife transition isn’t a failure; it's actually an invitation—a calling back to ourselves.

It’s about being, embracing, and expressing who we truly are: our truth, our inner nature, our essence—authentically and uniquely to the world.

The suffering I see, both in my clinic and in the world, often stems from resisting our nature.

We push down our inner knowing - the call for rest, the yearning to create, the need for stillness, the impulse to speak up.

We sacrifice pieces of ourselves to fit in, be liked, keep the peace, or be seen as 'enough'.

And it's costing us - Our health, our vitality, our creativity. It's costing us the very energy needed to create the change our world so desperately needs.

It's costing you your authenticity and your vibrancy.

My invitation to you today is to listen.

Not the surface listening we do while scrolling through our phones or rushing between appointments.

But deep listening.

What is wishing to be heard within you? What do you want to be, express, experience? What's one simple thing you can do today to take action towards that?

Remember this: Who you are is MORE than enough.

You are amazing and you are needed, just as you are.

The world doesn't need more women trying to be better than they are.
It needs more women being exactly who they are.